


Flowers For The Elf King

by HorizonHaze



Category: South Park
Genre: Douchebag has a crush on Kyle, It does not sit well with Craig, Jealousy, M/M, confused kyle, mute douchebag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 14:16:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19725367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorizonHaze/pseuds/HorizonHaze
Summary: Now Craig could take The New Kid waltzing right into Kupa Keep like he owned it, kissing the Grand Wizard’s ass, being a traitor, all of that seemed irrelevant. But giving Kyle Broflovski a damn flower and making him blush like that?The New Kid is fucking dead.





	Flowers For The Elf King

Craig Tucker was typically the type to never give a single fuck for the consequences of some of his most questionable actions. It was common knowledge any repercussions were to be met promptly with a middle finger being displayed in whatever being or object that was unfortunate enough to gain Craig’s negative attention. It wasn’t a surprise either that most things annoyed him. 

“Don’t think your friends are gonna come busy you out, Craig!”

“My name is Feldspar. I am a level six thief, and the humans will soon rescue me from this tower,” came his nasally response to Mr. Mackey’s rant on how he had ended up in detention. 

It wasn’t anything that fazed him. He assumed that the Grand Wizard was making the upmost haste to gather whatever recruits he could scrounge up to send off with Paladin Butters or even Princess Kenny to plan a rescue mission. What he wasn’t expecting was the face of some kid he’s never seen before to be behind the unlocking of the detention doors. Even with seeing the fair Princess Kenny by this newcomers side did not help subside his apprehension. 

“Thanks kid, who are you?” Craig asked as soon as he and the New Kid reached the outside of the school grounds.

Silence.

“What’s your name?” There was now clear annoyance in his voice as he looked at the other. 

Only a blank stare was returned in a mute answer. 

Motherfucker, who doesn’t talk when spoken to?

“Oh well, I’m heading back to Kupa Keep. See you there I guess,” pushing past the other to hastily head down the sidewalk. 

Apparently the kid doesn’t say a damn thing to anyone. Sir Douchebag is fitting as it sounds to describe him. Craig thinks that since their on the same side he can pretty much tolerate Sir Douchebag. They soon run into a situation where the Elves has stolen the Stick Of Truth. It’s fine by him, he hasn’t seen much of the Elves if he’s honest. 

What he doesn’t anticipate is the interference that the High Elf King Kyle to be talking in one ear of the New Kid, while the recruitment of the Goth kids is that other kids task to do. It went without word that a thief of such high level would be tailing the New Kid to make sure the kid wasn’t yanking their tails while playing for the enemy side. It had been weeks since the New Kid should have gotten the Goths on the humans side. What was taking him so long?

It wasn’t anything new to Craig to be snooping around the Elven Kingdom. It passed the time, as well as seeing what antics Kyle had his followers be preoccupied with in comparison to Cartman’s was a bit interesting. Kyle Broflovski pissed him off at times, the other being able to make his heartbeat pump by just gazing from afar was nauseating to say the least. That bastard had some powerful magic in the works at all times, that’s what it had to be. Craig would rather listen to Cartman’s incessant whining on how the Stick of Truth many capabilities, and how he had the authority to demand constant snacks. Screw Kyle. 

“Don’t let that fatass mess with your head New Kid. I can’t believe that he actually has you working for him!” 

Speaking of Kyle. 

Unmistakably that was the voice of the rival King. It had been a week or so since Craig had heard the redhead speak outside of school. Their meetings more of a spur of the moment as Craig would burst out of a bush or alley to ambush the King in attempts to assassinate him. It would end always the same with High Elf King Kyle kicking his ass. To which Craig would lay there on the ground until the Grand Wizard would walk his ass over to actually use revival magic. The crunchy golden shell with a delicious filling being used as such magic. While it was boring to be grounded for hours at times he found himself not minding it more times then not. Being near the Elf King was a guilty pleasure of his that he would part take in frequently. 

Something about that stand-offish, uptight redhead made butterflies rise in his belly. Engaging in combat reduced his palms to clam up. Craig wanted to punch Kyle’s stupid, pretty face. He was painfully self aware of his actions. Picking on someone that he had feelings for, he felt pathetic. 

“You’re right I guess, I shouldn’t just scream at you when you’re just playing the game,” Kyle responded to Douchebag’s silent stare as if he understood the unspoken words, “What can I do to convince you to stand with the Elves New Kid? Cartman’s just using you- Like how he uses everyone!”

Of course Kyle would try to be a voice of reason. It’s something that the other loves to try to do. Craig moved slightly in his position behind a bush, having flipped of Stan when the other had spotted him. 

“I’m using a invisibility cloak Marsh, you can’t see me dick nugget.” Craig said in his characteristic monotone voice. 

This caused Stan to awkwardly walk right in the other direction of the yard, fidgety and strange as the other boy tried to convince himself that he saw nothing. 

“Wait- What?”

The High Elf’s confusion was clear in his voice. The thief acted quick in resuming to cast his gaze back to Sir Douchebag and the King. He felt throat hitch at the sight before him of the New Kid nonchalantly handing Kyle some flower that the kid probably picked from someone’s yard. Kyle staring at the yellow daisy in his hand with a flabbergasted expression as green eyes looked in between the bud and the New Kid. A folded piece of scrap paper now being given to the redhead to. 

“...” Sir Douchebag stared right back at the royalty in front of him. No fear, no emotion, nothing. 

Whatever was on the note had reduced Kyle’s face to become dusted with awash of light pink as he sputtered, obviously unsure on how to respond to whatever Sir Douchebag had wrote. 

What the actual hell.

Now Craig could take The New Kid waltzing right into Kupa Keep like he owned it, kissing the Grand Wizard’s ass, being a traitor, all of that seemed irrelevant. But giving Kyle Broflovski a damn flower and making him blush like that?

The New Kid is fucking dead.


End file.
